Awakening and Reciprocity


Part 1 - Awakening

"Make love to me, Bodie. Please, Bodie, make love to me. Bodie..." Bodie woke up slowly not sure what had awakened him. It was still dark, so it couldn't have been the alarm. Summer days were long, and it was light well before getting up time. He lay there, trying to puzzle out why he was awake.

"Bodie," a soft whisper brought his attention to the warm lump next to him. Who? Oh, Ray, of course. They had finished an operation and gone out on a pub crawl to celebrate. When they finally decided they had had more than enough to drink, they were in a pub not far from Bodie's flat. They made it back there, okay, but figured they'd be pushing their luck to try to get Doyle back to his flat that night. They'd shared a bed before, under similar circumstances, so it was no major decision to do so again. They went straight to bed when they got in--drink and exhaustion combining to drive all other thoughts than sleep out of their heads.


"Ray?" He turned slightly to the smaller man.

The next minute his arms were full of a hard, warm body. "Bodie? Make love to me? Please make love to me, Bodie. Bodie..."

Bodie gave a sudden start, and felt himself grow hard at the words. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He'd wanted Ray for a long time, but had never dared say anything to him. He looked down at the curly head nestled under his chin and, just then, a pair of sleepy green eyes stared up at him.

"Please, Bodie..."

"Ray," he had to clear his throat. "Ray, do you know what you're asking?"

A slight flush crept up his face. "Yes," he whispered.

"Oh, God," Bodie groaned--the moon and all the stars, his for the taking. He had been with other men, but that was in Africa and in the context of The Game. This was different. Ray was different. Ray was special. Very special. To him. They had been partners for three years and friends for most of that time, once they got past their initial adjustment problems. Recently it had seemed to Bodie that his feelings for Ray were deepening into something more than just friendship. He was afraid of spoiling what they had, but Ray had just offered him everything he had ever wanted. As far as he knew, Ray had never been with another man. He wanted to be gentle and make it good for him, but he didn't know if he could. He had never associated gentleness with male sex.

He pulled Ray to him and held him, tenderly. "I want you, Ray, but I'm not sure I can do this without being rough, and I don't want to be rough with you. Not now. Not yet."

"I trust you, Bodie." The green eyes looked steadily up into blue. "I know you won't hurt me."

"You stop me anytime, Ray, if I do something you don't like. Promise?"

"Yes." He smiled and, reaching up with one hand to cup Bodie's face, he brushed his lips softly over Bodie's. "Don't talk so much. I thought you were supposed to use your mouth for other things."

"I will, Ray. Oh, I will," he said softly and, leaning down, kissed his mouth gently. Ray's mouth opened under his, allowing his tongue to enter and explore; he felt a thrill go through him as it did so. Ray made a small sound at the feel of Bodie's tongue touching his, and tightened his hold on him. They held the kiss for a long minute, until they had to come up for air.

"Mmm. More, please."

"Hush." Bodie kissed him again, harder this time, losing himself in the taste of Ray's mouth; its sweetness almost overwhelming him. He broke off the kiss, suddenly, crushing Ray to him, and burying his face in the soft curls.

"God, Ray, I don't know if I can control myself. No one else has ever affected me this way before."

"You... You're having quite an affect on me, too," Ray replied with a bit of a catch in his voice. "It'll be okay."

Bodie took a deep breath and ran his hands over Ray's back and down his flanks.



"Can I...? Would you mind...if I turned on the light? I want to see you."

"No." Ray flushed slightly, again. "I wouldn't mind. You've seen me before, Bodie."

"I know, but not quite in these circumstances."

Bodie reached over and turned on the bedside lamp, then he shoved back the sheet and fur spread. He propped himself up on one arm to look at Ray, who had his arm over his eyes, partly to protect them from the light, and partly to avoid looking at Bodie. As he felt Bodie staring at him, his flush deepened.

"What's the matter, Bodie? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Bodie caught his breath, suddenly. "It's just... you're so damn beautiful." He reached out tentatively and lightly stroked Doyle's chest. "Golden. A golden treasure. And all for me."

Ray blushed crimson at the emotion in Bodie's voice. "Nah, you're the beautiful one. You've said it yourself--tall, dark, and beautiful. And it's true." He lowered his arm and looked full at Bodie, blushing again at the expression in his eyes, but meeting them steadily. He reached out and touched Bodie in his turn. "Mmm, feel as nice as you look, too. Make love to me, Bodie, now."

Bodie leaned over and began raining soft kisses on Ray's face, while running his fingers through his curls. He kissed his eyes, running his tongue along the lashes, licked softly at his broken cheekbone, dropped a kiss on the tip of his nose, and then began giving him butterfly kisses on his cheeks, chin, and forehead.

"Mmmm, tickles."

"Shh, it's special." But he stopped and carefully licked the rim of his ear before poking his tongue inside.

"Mmm," Doyle squirmed in pleasure, "other one, too."

Bodie gladly obeyed him, then kissed and licked all over his throat and under his chin, ending with a long kiss in the hollow at the base of his throat, before returning to his face. He licked at Doyle's lips and then began to dab little kisses on his mouth and other parts of his face, teasing him.

Ray opened his mouth in invitation and tried to catch Bodie's with his tongue, but Bodie evaded him, merely giving his tongue a lick now and then in passing. Finally Ray reached up and, pulling Bodie's head down to him, captured his mouth with his own, his tongue demanding entrance. Bodie opened to him and Ray tasted his mouth for the first time. He was almost overwhelmed at the sensation, and groaned in delight. He put his hand back up and stroked Bodie's face. Bodie captured the hand, ran his tongue around the palm and kissed it, then laid it back down on the bed.

"Ready for more, sunshine?" Without giving him time to answer, Bodie began running his fingertips lightly over Doyle's chest, stroking the fine hair, ruffling it the wrong way, twisting it around his finger. He could feel Ray quiver wherever he touched him, and moved back up to run a single finger over each collarbone, and then stopped. Doyle arched up toward him, straining toward his hand. Bodie started touching him again, this time alternating strokes with his full hand with the fingertip touches. He drew patterns on his chest; coming close to, but never quite touching, his nipples until Ray was whimpering with desire. Then he quickly ran his thumb over Ray's nipples and they hardened, instantly. Ray gasped at the sensation. Bodie leaned closer and began to repeat with his mouth what he had done with his hand. He swirled patterns in the fine hair with his tongue, and licked circles as close as he could get to Ray's nipples without actually touching them. He alternated this with dropping little little random kisses all over his chest. After several minutes of this, he realized that Ray was saying, almost under his breath, "Please, please, please, please..."

Bodie looked up with a smile in his eyes, "Please, what, Ray? What do you want me to do?"

"Please, Bodie, kiss me."

But as Bodie moved up to kiss his mouth, Ray turned his head away. "No. Not that. My... nipples... please, Bodie, kiss my nipples."

Bodie gave a groan as he leaned back down and took Ray's nipple in his mouth. He sucked at it and swirled his tongue around it and then took it gently between his teeth, just flicking the tip with his tongue.

"Oh!" Ray gave a sharp cry at what Bodie was doing to him. "The other one. Please, Bodie, kiss the other one, too."

Bodie transferred his attention to Ray's other nipple and sucked and teased it, also. Then he took a deep breath and drew back from Ray.

"No, Bodie, don't stop now. Please don't stop. Bodie..."

"I've got to. For a minute, sunshine, or it'll be all over right now."

"Wha'?" Doyle looked up into blue eyes cloudy with desire. Bodie was trembling with the effort to control himself. His shaft was fully engorged. Ray reached out a finger to touch it, but Bodie grabbed him before he could make contact.

"Watch it, Ray," he said, drawing designs with his finger on the palm of Ray's hand. "That'll set me off, for sure." He kissed each fingertip and then ran his tongue up and down each finger before planting a kiss in the palm and raising Ray's hand to his cheek, holding it there. He breathed deeply, fighting to get himself under control. Finally, after a few minutes, he took one last deep breath, leaned down, and kissed Ray, gently. "All right, lover, ready to go on?"

"Oh, yes, please, Bodie." Ray was quivering with tension.

Bodie kissed him again, then reached down and drew his fingertips across Ray's belly, lightly, just barely touching him.

"More, Bodie." Ray tried to push upwards into Bodie's hand. Bodie stroked his palm across Ray's belly and down his flanks, then used his finger to draw circles around his navel and make tangled patterns in the hair of his groin, until he squirmed at the delightful sensations. He ran a finger slowly down the length of Ray's swollen cock, then stroked it, lovingly.

"Oh! Oh, Bodie!"

"That feel good, sunshine?"

"No, not good; it feels... wonderful. Oh, Bodie, I want you."

"Wait. Not yet." He slid his hand down to Doyle's inner thighs, stroking the sensitive skin softly, then ran his fingertips over the same area, very lightly, until he had Doyle twitching at every touch. He reached up and cupped Ray's balls with his hand, fondling them gently; and soon Ray was softly moaning. While he continued to stroke Ray's balls, Bodie leaned down and kissed him on the stomach. He licked all around his navel, then plunged his tongue down inside it and back up again, swirling patterns in the fine hair as he had done on his chest, and dropping little kisses all over his belly. Ray wriggled each time Bodie's mouth touched him.

Bodlie gave a quick kiss to Ray's cock in passing, causing it to jerk abruptly, and moved down to lick and kiss all down his inner thighs. Ray moaned again and spread his legs wide to allow Bodie easier access. Bodie put his arm across Ray's hips to hold him down while he continued his delightful task. When he had covered every square inch with kisses, he moved to Ray's groin, running his tongue through the wiry curls until he came to his balls. Bodie took them in his mouth and caressed them with his tongue. Ray gasped at the warm, moist touch. He sucked them for a long moment, and then moved back up to Ray's cock. He gave a long lick, the length of the shaft, and then ran his tongue quickly around the glans before bestowing a soft kiss on it.

"Oh..." Ray groaned.

"Turn over, lover." Bodie stroked his flank as he spoke. "Hmm?" Ray was concentrating on the feel of Bodie's hand. "Turn over."

"Huh? Wha 'cha gonna do?"

"Shh, shh, just turn over," and he gave Ray a little shove.

Ray turned over slowly and tried to look over his shoulder at what Bodie was doing, however he simply moved up and started running his fingertips over Ray's back and neck, making patterns of sensation. He stroked with his palm for a while, and then went back to fingertips. When he had Ray quivering with desire again, he changed to mouth and tongue, following where his fingers had led. He kissed the back of his neck, and left a row of kisses down his spine. He licked and and kissed all over Ray's back, nipping occasionally, so Ray never knew what to expect. Ray was mixing whimpers with little moans. Bodie had to hold him down so he didn't get hit in the face as Ray moved.

Bodie sat back for a moment, then leaned forward and hugged Ray tightly before sitting back again. "Just one more time out, sunshine," he said, panting slightly. Ray collapsed as the delightful sensations stopped temporarily.

"You gonna make it?" he asked, breathlessly.

"Yeah, don't worry about me, sunshine. I'll be okay." He took a few deep breaths. "I've got me favorite part coming up."

With no warning, Bodie reached down and drew his fingertips over Doyle's arse. Doyle arched up so quickly he nearly hit Bodie in the face with his head.


"What's the matter, sunshine? Want me to stop?" Cupping his hands around Ray's arse and squeezing.

"Nothing. No! Oh, Bodie!"

"Mmm, like it, do you?" Bodie ran his finger down the cleft between the cheeks and nudged at the tight muscle around the opening.

"Oh, God, yes!"

"Good." And Bodie lowered his head and began to lick his arse all over, trailing his tongue down the cleft and into the opening as far as it would go, then back up to plant little nips and kisses at random on his arse, and then back down to the opening, forcing his tongue back in. He couldn't do it for long as Ray was thrashing around so much he couldn't hold him still.

"Now, Bodie! Do it now!"

"What, lover? Ray? What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know! Something! Anything! Take me! Please, Bodie, make me come!"

Bodie could hear that Ray was near tears with need and desire. His own need was so bad it was painful.

"Shush, now. We'll make it easy for your first time. Shush." He reached over and got a little tube of cream from the nightstand, and put some on his finger and on Doyle, then he turned over on his back.

"Come on, now, get on top of me." He pulled Doyle towards him.


"Come on. On top."

Doyle scrambled onto Bodie and clamped his arms around him tightly, locking onto his mouth with his own. Bodie wriggled slightly to get them lined up properly. He felt a jolt go through him as their hard shafts touched, and the feeling of Ray's body on his burned into his tightly strung nerves. He moved his mouth away from Ray's, and he buried his face in Bodie's shoulder, kissing whatever parts of him he could reach from there.

"Try to relax, now, lover." Bodie cupped Ray's arse firmly with one hand and put his lubricated finger up against the tight muscle. As soon as he felt him pressing there, Doyle shoved backwards, taking Bodie's finger inside himself and giving a loud gasp at the exquisite sensation. Bodie moved his finger around slowly inside Ray and then pulled it out almost all the way before plunging it back in again, faster and harder each time, meanwhile holding Doyle to him with his other hand. Doyle groaned at the sensations flooding through him and picked up the rhythm of Bodie's marvelous finger; moving forward and back as far as he could each time, and rubbing Bodie's hard cock with his own.

Bodie finally released the control he had been desperately trying to hold onto, and let himself respond fully to Ray's movements, surrendering to what was almost a sensory overload at the fever pitch he had brought himself to.

"Kiss me," he pleaded, nudging Ray's soft curls with his cheek. Ray raised his head and clamped his mouth down on Bodie's, thrusting his tongue in to get another taste of the sweetness he had known before. Bodie sucked at Ray's tongue and stroked it with his own, melting inside at the taste and feel of Doyle's mouth and tongue on his.

As aroused as they both were, they could only last a very few minutes before exploding in virtually simultaneous orgasms; their seed shooting between them, slick and warm. Ray arched up with a cry and Bodie strained to follow him as the universe was destroyed and rebuilt around them. Bodie instinctively held Doyle's hips pressed tightly to him, his finger plunged deep inside him, until he felt Doyle collapse against him; and then he collapsed, also, totally spent.

Several minutes later, when he had some small amount of control over his spaghetti-like muscles, he slid his finger out and rolled Doyle over beside him. He leaned down and dropped soft kisses on his eyes and mouth, and then pulled Doyle to him, holding him, so Ray's head was resting on his shoulder and he could rest his own head on his curls.

"How was that, then, sunshine?" Bodie's voice was still a little hoarse from passion.

"God, Bodie, that was bloody marvelous!" Ray's voice wasn't any better.

"It met your expectations, did it?"

"You know it did! And then some!"

"Good." Bodie was quiet for a minute or two. "You know, Ray, this wasn't just a one-off; I won't let it be. I need you too much, expecially now that I've had you." He hugged Ray tighter and rubbed his head against the soft curls. "I don't think I can ever let you go now."

"Don't worry, Bodie; I never intended it should be a one-off. I love you, Bodie, and I think I always will."

Bodie lay very still at Ray's words. He had always been a bit afraid of making any commitment; but somehow, he wasn't any more.

"I love you, too, Ray, very much," he said quietly.

"I'm glad." Ray hugged him tightly,knowing how much the words had cost his partner, his lover. He lay quietly on Bodie for a few minutes, absorbing all that had gone before, and then looked up at him with a glint in his green eyes. "Does that mean we can do this all the time?"

Bodie laughed softly, "Well, not all the time, lover, but certainly a good part of it. Is that what you want?"

"Yes, please, Bodie. And I want to make love to you. 'M a quick study, I am, and I've learned a lot tonight. I want to do it as often as possible."

"Well, go to sleep, now, love, and we'll see what's possible in the morning."

"Yes, Bodie." As he drifted off to sleep, the last thought in Ray's head was that he could hardly wait for morning, to put into practice all that he had just learned. Their lovemaking wouldn't be so one-sided, the next time.

Part 2 - Reciprocity

Ray Doyle opened his eyes, slowly. The first light of dawn was entering the bedroom window, and it looked like it was going to be a beautiful summer day. 'Mmm,' he thought, 'I feel bloody marvelous.' Suddenly it all came flooding back how Bodie had made love to him last night, at his instigation. In fact, he realized, Bodie still had his arm around him, holding him loosely. Ray turned towards him and snuggled closer, stretching his length against him, loving the feel of Bodie along every inch of him. He relaxed and snuggled his head on his lover's shoulder as Bodie's arm instinctively tightened around him and then relaxed again. Ray inhaled, deeply; mmm, he loved the wonderful Bodie-smell of him. That was one of the first things he'd noticed, how great Bodie always smelled.

Bodie. Ray thought he must have been in love with him from the moment they met, though he hadn't identified the emotion for a long time. It was his looks, first of all, of course. Ray looked at the world through artist's eyes. He'd been trained to see beauty in both the female and male figure, and Bodie was the most beautiful man he'd ever seen, with his dark hair, his smooth matte white skin that never tanned, and his dark blue eyes with lashes ridiculously long for a man. It wasn't just that, however.

Once they became friends, they spent much of their off-duty time together, sometimes doubling on dates and sometimes just the two of them. Doyle had noticed that whether or not they had birds along, when he was with Bodie the lights seemed brighter, the conversation seemed wittier, and the world in general seemed a better place to be, but he had put it all down to the fact that they were good friends who had a lot in common and very congenial tastes. Even after he had come to the conclusion that the times when he and Bodie were on their own were much better, as far as he was concerned, than when they were out with birds, he still didn't realize why for a long time.

He had never had the slightest interest in men before. Even when his fellow art students were experimenting with different combinations and permutations of the sexual act, he had had no desire to try anything out of the ordinary. But Bodie was different. Bodie was very special. He didn't know when he first figured out it was love he felt for him, one day the knowledge was just there. He didn't let it make any difference in their relationship; he daren't. He knew that all Bodie felt for him was friendship and he hadn't expected him to ever feel anything more.

He had gathered, more from what Bodie hadn't said than from what he had that he had had sexual encounters with other men in Africa, but he had also gathered that there was nothing pleasant about these memories. When he realized what his feelings for Bodie were, Ray had had a long talk with himself. He easily decided that companionship with Bodie was better than nothing at all, and he was very much afraid that if he indicated to his partner that he might be interested in anything more, Bodie would turn away from him, completely. Lately, however, it had seemed to him that Bodie's feelings might be turning into something more than just friendship. Bodie had become very protective, all of a sudden, and a bit possessive, also.

Last night, when they got back to Bodie's apartment after their pub crawl, Ray decided to take the plunge. He would pretend he was still asleep, or just waking up; and then, if Bodie rejected his suggestion, he could always pretend it was just some strange dream he was having. The result was beyond his wildest dreams.

Bodie had leapt at the chance to make love to him, his only reluctance being due to his fear of hurting Doyle. Once that was overcome, there was no more holding back. Ray could still hardly believe what Bodie had done to him, the fantastic way he'd made him feel. None of the birds he'd ever had had made him feel like that.

He knew he was never going to get tired of Bodie. There were so many things he wanted to do to Bodie and with Bodie, and so many things he wanted Bodie to do to and with him, that it might take a lifetime to do them all. Maybe, he thought, it was time to begin, and to apply some of the lessons he had learned last night.

Ray pulled the covers down, then reached over and ran his fingers lightly over Bodie's chest. 'Mmmm, it really is smooth and lovely.' He stroked it with his palm, 'so nice.' He reached up and ran his fingers over Bodie's face and lips, outlined an ear, then ran them down his throat and fingered over his collarbones. Bodie was very soundly asleep, but he twiched when Ray touched him, rather as if he were trying to shrug off a very persistant fly.

Ray decided he'd better be a bit more direct. He caressed Bodie's nipples, which hardened instantly. Bodie murmured deep in his throat and tightened his arm around Ray. 'That was more like it.' Ray turned his head and nuzzled along Bodie's chest until he found his nipple and attached himself to it, limpet-like. He sucked it lovingly, tongueing the hard little nubs while his hand strayed further down, circling the navel, and then brushing against Bodie's beginning-to-harden cock.

"Mmmm." Bodie blinked and slowly opened his eyes. He found himself staring into a pair of green ones, only inches away.

"Morning, sunshine," Ray said, smiling down at him, "still love me?" Without giving him a chance to answer, he cupped Bodie's face in his hands and kissed him thoroughly. Bodie opened his mouth to Ray's tongue; fire burning through his veins at the first touch of Ray's tongue on his. He wrapped his arms around Ray and hugged him tightly.

"Mmm, you taste great," he said, when Ray finally turned loose his mouth. "What a lovely way to be awakened. All hot to trot are you, lover?" he went on, feeling Ray's hardness as he lay stretched against him.

"You haven't answered my question, Bodie."

"What question was that, sunshine?" Bodie teased.

"Bodie!" Ray bent down and bit his bottom lip.

"Ouch! You little beast! Behave yourself!" Bodie gave a sharp swat to Ray's bare bottom. "Of course I still love you, idiot. I told you, I'm not going to let you go. Not now, not ever. Now, kiss it and make it well."

Glad of any excuse, Ray ran his tongue gently over Bodie's lower lip and then proceeded to lick all over Bodie's face, rather like a cat washing a kitten.

"Ray " Bodie protested, "I don't need my face washed."

"Mmm, but you taste so good!" Ray answered, laughing, tickling his tongue by licking Bodie's long eyelashes.

Bodie gave in and resigned himself to being licked at. When Ray was in this mood there was no doing anything with him. Besides, he had to admit, those little licks of Ray's tongue were doing rather odd things to his insides. He ran his hands down Ray's back, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake, and clamped them around Ray's arse, pulling him tightly to himself, feeling Ray's shaft hard against his own. God, whoever would have thought the bionic golli would be such an instant turn-on. It was all he could do not to flip him over and rape him on the spot. Bodie stiffened at the thought. No! He'd never do that to Ray. That was part of The Game. It had nothing to do with Ray, and Bodie's love for him!

Ray felt Bodie stiffen and drew back slightly, a very sober expression on his face.

"Oh, love, do you hate it that much? I'm sorry. I was just having fun."

"No," said Bodie, thickly, averting his eyes from Ray. "It had nothing to do with what you were doing. You carry on. Do whatever you like."

"Bodie, what is it? What's wrong?"


"Don't give me that! Look at me!"

The blue eyes slowly met his and then dropped away. He hated what he'd done to Ray. All the bright laughter had gone out of his face.

"Bodie, tell me what's wrong. Please!"

"I can't. You wouldn't understand."

"Try me. I promise there's nothing you can say that'll make any difference to my feelings about you. God, Bodie, the only way this is gonna work for us is if we're honest with one another."

Bodie pulled away from Ray and sat up against the head of the bed. He pulled his knees up close to his chest, wrapped his arms around his legs, and rested his forehead on his knees.

"Okay," he said in a muffled voice, "I'll tell you." 'And then you'll leave and it'll all be over between us.'

Ray looked very puzzled. He reached out to put his hand on Bodie's arm. Bodie jerked away. He raised his head, slightly.

"No! Don't touch me. Let me just tell you and get it over with." He turned his head away from Ray and stared into space. He couldn't watch Ray's face and see the disgust he knew would appear there when Ray heard what he had done. His voice was very low when he spoke. "When I was out in Africa, there weren't any women around for months at a time, and so we played... The Game. It was a simple game, hand-to-hand combat, winner take all. I was very young. And very inexperienced. And I lost, at first. A lot. And I didn't like it at all. But I learned quickly. And then I almost always won. It was rape, Doyle, pure and simple rape. That's all I've ever known with another man. Until last night." Bodie's face was dark red by this time; his eyes bright with unshed tears.

Ray broke in, softly, "Oh, Bodie, love, I guessed most of that. You didn't have to tell me. It had nothing to do with us." He reached, again, for Bodie.

"No!" Bodie's voice was sharp. "I'm not done, yet. Let me finish. Last night..." his voice broke, and he tried again.

"Last night I was able to control myself. I thought everything was going to be okay. It was different with us. But this morning... just now... when you were kissing me... I wanted..." He almost couldn't finish. He buried his face in his arms and his voice was so low Ray had to lean forward to hear him. "Dear God, Ray, just your kisses were enough to set me off so badly I wanted to rape you. Right there and then. I wanted to fuck you right through the bloody mattress. I'll never be able to trust myself around you, Ray, and you won't trust me. You'll be on edge, never knowing when I might attack you. And if you fight, and you will, I could kill you!" Bodie stopped talking and sat, huddled in on himself, waiting for Ray to leave, slow tears slipping from under his eyelashes.

Ray gathered Bodie into his arms and cuddled him like a baby, stroking the silky short hair, and soothing him with quiet words. "Shush. Shush, now, love. It's all right. Listen to me. Listen, love, everything's going to be all right."

"No. No, it's not," Bodie said brokenly. "It won't be, ever again. You know what I am, now, and you'll come to hate me for it." The tears had stopped, now, but he burrowed his head into Ray's shoulder and clung to him as if he were the one sure refuge in a horror-filled world--one that would be torn away at any minute.

Ray kissed the top of Bodie's head and looked at him, green eyes full of love. He held him even tighter, kissing and cuddling him until at last he calmed down, took a long, shuddering breath, and collapsed, boneless, against him. Ray tipped his face up and kissed both tear-drenched eyes and then his mouth, long and thoroughly, (the salt taste of tears gave a new dimension to the Bodie-flavor that he loved). He finally broke the kiss, but continued to hold Bodie's face up until, at last, the blue eyes opened and looked at him.

"Now," he said, "are you ready to listen to me?"

"Yes," Bodie whispered, not trusting his voice. He put his head back on Ray's shoulder and Ray rested his cheek on it.

"All right. I listened to everything you said and I'm not shocked or disgusted. I told you, I guessed most of what you had to say before you said it. And as for the rest, I love you and you love me and that's all we have to remember. It is different for us. It will be. It won't be like anything you had in Africa. This is us, Bodie. Me. Ray. Your partner. You've saved me more times than I can count. You're not going to hurt me now."


"Shush! Okay. So you wanted to rape me. But you didn't. And you won't. Even if you try, and you won't, I won't let you. I'm not a girl, Bodie. And I'm not an untrained young boy. I'm your partner. And I'm just as tough and as well-trained as you are. And I can beat you, sometimes, so don't consider it a forgone conclusion that you'd win. And you won't kill me, Bodie. Not me. Not your partner. Not after all the times you've saved me. And I wouldn't stop fighting unless you did. Not if it meant rape if I stopped. But you won't. I know you, Bodie. You couldn't kill me. And I won't let you stop with anything less. So you won't rape me, will you? Will you, Bodie? Answer me, dammit!"

"No," the whisper was so soft, Ray wasn't sure he heard it. "No, I won't rape you. You won't let me. But the feelings, Ray, the feelings. So strong."

"You can control them, Bodie. You will control them. Can't you? Won't you? Just remember you love me."

"Yes. I can. And I will. I do love you, Ray. Very much," he reached up and drew his hand down Ray's face, caressing his broken cheekbone in passing; his eyes holding Ray's for the first time since the conversation began. "Kiss me, please," he begged.

Ray bent his head and placed a quick kiss on Bodie's lips; but when Bodie tried to open his lips and prolong it, Doyle drew back.

"Wait. We still have something to discuss."

"What's that?" Bodie looked up at him, quizzically.

It was Ray's turn to blush. He hadn't realized when he started this that it was all going to be so complicated.

"Okay. We've determined that you're not going to rape me, right?"


"Not under any circumstances. Right?"


"Because you love me, right?"


"Well, having decided all that," Ray felt himself going an even brighter shade of scarlet, "I think we'd better discuss fucking."

"No. We've decided. No rape."

"Bodie," Ray said gently, "it's not rape if the person's willing. I'm very willing. I want you to fuck me, Bodie. It's something I've dreamed about. I loved what you did last night, and I want more, much more. I want you, Bodie, all of you. I want to feel you inside me. With love, Bodie, not with anger. And I want to fuck you, Bodie; I want you to want me to fuck you. I want to bury myself deep inside you. To make you a part of myself. Because I love you, Bodie. I love you and I want you very much. In every way possible. Please, Bodie."

"Oh, Ray," Bodie groaned, "you don't know what you're asking."

"Yes, I do." He held Bodie's eyes with his own. "I'm asking you to love me. And trust me. And trust our love for each other. Trust that we won't hurt one another, because we love each other. And trust that anything between two willing, willing, Bodie, adults can be beautiful."

"God, Ray, you don't ask for much, do you?"

"I'm asking for everything, Bodie. All your love. All your trust. And I'll give you all mine. I already have. Last night. I trusted you, Bodie. I knew you wouldn't do anything to hurt me, and you didn't. It was wonderful Bodie, all of it, as I knew it would be, dreamt it would be; and you're a bloody marvelous lover. So don't stop half way, Lover; let me have it all. Please." Ray stopped; knowing that if he continued, he'd start crying, and there'd been more than enough of that for one day. He sat quietly, looking at Bodie, waiting to see what he'd say; hoping he'd said enough; hoping he hadn't said too much, like he usually did. Open mouth, insert feet, was his usual procedure; and this was so important to him, to both of them.

Bodie looked up at him, blue eyes wide and serious.

"I'll try, love. That's all I can promise. I'll try. I do love you and I trust you. It's me I don't trust. But I'll try. For you. Because you deserve the best."

"Oh, Bodie, thank you. It'll work. You'll see. And we can go as slow as you want. Whenever you're ready, you just let me know. For anything. Whatever you want, whenever you want it. Me," he grinned, "I'm ready anytime."

"You know," Bodie drawled, "for someone who's supposed to be new to this, you sure seem to know an awful lot about it."

"Well," Ray blushed slightly, again."I have given it a lot of thought. After all, I didn't know if I'd be pickin' myself up off the floor after I made the first suggestion, so I figured I'd better know just what it was I wanted before I started. Anyway, like I said last night, I'm a quick study."

"The first suggestion," Bodie said, thoughtfully, "so you weren't talking in your sleep, then."

"Well, no." Ray blushed a bit more. "Do you mind?"

"Nah," Bodie grinned, "it worked, dinnit? And you're right. It was pretty wonderful, even by my exactin' standards. And you weren't doin' too badly this mornin' before I cocked things up."

"Shall I continue from where I left off, then?" offered Ray, shyly.

"Why not?" Bodie uncurled himself and stretched out again on the bed, pulling Ray down beside him. "Carry on, sunshine."

Ray pressed his length against Bodie and rubbed, gently. 'It feels so good, so right.' He leaned over and kissed Bodie, savoring the sweetness of his mouth. Fire ran through him as the kiss lengthened and Bodie held him tightly; and he felt his erection grow until it was bigger than it had been when he stopped, before. 'Sure got an awful low flashpoint, if that's all it takes to get me goin'. Only with Bodie, though. Hmm, he seems to be the same. Turn each other on, we do.'

When they had to break the kiss for lack of air, Bodie reached down and stroked first his own erection and then Ray's. He looked up at Ray and grinned. 'He knew what he was doin', the little bugger. We never would have got here if it'd been up to me. Hope he's just as right about the rest of it. Guess I'll find out soon, if he has anythin' to say about it.'

Ray grinned back at Bodie and continued on with his licking where he'd left off. He licked all over Bodie's neck and throat, then continued on across his collarbones and back to his neck where, without warning, he bit him hard, just above the shoulder.

"Ow!" Bodie knocked him aside, "watch the teeth, mate; I'm not your bloody breakfast."

Ray looked down at the two rows of teeth marks and the bruised area between. He hadn't, quite, drawn blood. He leaned down and kissed the spot.

"There," he said, possessively, "I've branded you. Now you're mine." He laughed delightedly. "It's a good thing you like to wear polo necks, lover. Someone'd be bound to ask questions."

"Just tell them I'd got a hungry bird, then, wouldn't I? You try that again, though, petal, and I'll show you brandin'."

"Aw, you wouldn't do that to me, would you?"

"You prepared to bet money on that?"

"No, no, that's all right. I believe you." Still laughing, Ray gave a last kiss to his mark and continued on with his self-appointed task. He licked his way down Bodie's chest, then made little forays to circle around his nipples.

"You're going to wear your tongue out, lover." Bodie wasn't exactly objecting to what Ray was doing to him, but the sensation was hovering on the borderline between pleasure and tickling, and his body was trying to respond to both at the same time, twitching away from Ray's tongue, and yet pressing closer to the warm mouth. He was feeling a bit breathless as a result.

"Nah, 's nice, this. You taste so bloody marvelous. Could have you for breakfast every mornin' and never get tired of you." Ray gave a quick lick to Bodie's already-hard nipple causing him to gasp and his cock to give a sudden jerk.

"God, Ray, do that some more. Please!"

"Like that, do you, lover?"

"Yeah! Really turns me on, that does."

"Mmm. I'll have to remember that for future reference." He leaned down and fastened his mouth to Bodie's nipple, sucking it and teasing it with his tongue. Bodie moaned, deep in his throat, and pulled Ray's head down tightly to him, tangling his fingers in the soft curls. They stayed that way for several long minutes, then "Other one," Bodie's whisper was so soft Ray almost didn't hear it. He moved then, laying across Bodie so he could reach his other nipple, taking it into his mouth and playing with it as he had the first, running his hand down Bodie's side and flank, then moving it back up, running his fingertips over his soft inner thigh and then cupping his balls gently.

Bodie still had one hand tangled in Ray's curls and was running the fingertips of the other over what he could reach of Ray's face. When the sensations threatened to overwhelm him, he pulled Ray up to him and kissed him, deeply.

"I need you, Ray," his voice was thick with passion. "Now. I don't think I can wait any longer."

"All right, lover. What do you want me to do?"

Bodie flushed and looked away. "Whatever you feel like."

"No," Ray's voice was quiet. "What do you want me to do?"

Bodie flushed deeper and refused to meet Ray's eyes. "Would you... Would you suck me, Ray? Let me come in your mouth? Would you mind?"

"Mind? God, I'd love to, Bodie. I didn't know you'd want me to." He kissed Bodie's mouth softly, then moved down the bed. Bodie trailed his hand down Ray's back as he moved. He rested it on Ray's hip for a moment and then reached over and gently took and stroked his cock.

"Wait. Don't distract me. Let me do this first."

"Whatever you say, lover. You're the boss."

Ray bent down and ran his tongue the length of Bodie's cock, then he licked the top of it. Bodie bucked, sharply, and clenched his hands.

"Now!" he said, in a strangled voice. "Do it now, Ray, or it'll be too late."

Ray kissed the tip of Bodie's cock, then slowly mouthed down the long shaft, taking Bodie deeply into him. He ran his tongue around the shaft, feeling Bodie pulse and need, then sucked him, hard.

"Oh, yes, Ray, yes," Bodie groaned, and then he was coming in fast, hot spurts. Ray swallowed the creamy liquid as it filled his mouth and throat. 'Mmm. Essence of Bodie. Delicious.'

It was over quickly and Bodie collapsed, exhausted. Ray licked the last of the semen off his now-limp organ, gave it a final kiss, and then moved back up into Bodie's arms. He gave Bodie a long kiss and then, resting his head on Bodie's shoulder gave him a quick hug and then relaxed.

When Bodie could move again, he wrapped his arm around Ray and hugged him, hard.

"You know, for a beginner, you're bloody fantastic, lover," Bodie was still a bit breathless.

"Natural talent," Ray chuckled.

"Hey, what about you, love?" Bodie stroked down Ray's side and reached for his cock, only to find it as limp as his own. "What?"

"'M highly responsive, I am," Ray grinned. "Came when you did, didn't I?"

"I'm sorry, love," Bodie kissed Ray's curls and hugged him.

"Don't be. You can make it up to me, later. No rush. We have all the time in the world, together."

"True, but not right now. We have work today, sweetheart. Cowley awaits us."

"Mmm, pity, that. Bloody Cowley."

"Yeah, but just think. We've got tonight to look forward to."

"Yeah, nice thought, innit?"


-- THE END --

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