Last Thoughts


So heavy in my arms.

Never thought to have you here. Just never thought... Yet now... I don't want to let you go.

Fickle, they've called me in the past. 'S true. I'll admit it. Know I've been shallow-hearted, one relationship after another. But never with you, Bodie.

God, but you irritated me at times. Got right up my nose, you did, with your arrogance and know-all attitude. Many's the time I could've thumped you in the early days.

But I remember how gradually it changed. From an impatient contempt to a grudging respect as we both acknowledged each other's skill in different fields. Made it a good partnership, that did, our different backgrounds, experience. A world apart, we were, yet our friendship grew. Yeah, it's a good partnership... best I've ever known, unlikely as that might seem sometimes.

You're fun to be with... but you know that, don't you? I see the smug grin on your face each time you make me laugh. Enjoy that, you do. Childish... but appealing...

'S not many working partners that spend so much of their off duty time together, y'know. But that too grew gradually for us. From the occasional drinks in favourite pubs to full- blooded dates together, foursomes. I enjoy those and I see the softer, gentler side of you. A surprise, that, to see those capable, ruthless hands caressing warm skin instead of cold steel. Don't know why that surprised me... knew you were a hit with the girls. Couldn't fail to be otherwise, really, with all that charm, soft skin and those blue eyes...

Nah, I might be a bit too preoccupied with myself, but I've been aware of you... very aware...

You mean so much to me, Bodie. I've been trying to work my way round to telling you. It's not that I thought you'd laugh, or anything. Know you wouldn't. But it's such a step to take. Wanted to choose the right moment.

If you woke up now, I'd tell you. Tell you everything.

Don't know what I'd do without you, Bodie. You've kept me sane, know that? Taken away the world's hurts on more'n one occasion. And more. You awoke a part of me I didn't even know was there.

Won't you wake up? Wanna tell you so much. Wanna see those dark blue eyes soften at me, feel those strong hands touch me in a way they've never...quite... done before.

So quiet now after the ear-splitting rattle of rifles. They're all dead, y'know. We got rid of 'em between us. Scum.

Did - did you know there's a hole in your jacket, Bodie? You won't like that. One of your favourites, this one. Rugged, hardwearing leather, practical, yet good to look at. Strong, but soft and sensual, too. Like you...

Damn you, Bodie. Come on! I need you. You've always been there for me. Now I'm here for you. And... there's something happening to me. Only you could put right this hurt that's tearing through me. No one else.

Such soft hair, Bodie. Never quite got around to ruffling it like you do mine so often. Wanted to, though. It's as silky as I knew it'd be.

Your skin's the same. A woman'd envy skin as clear and smooth as this. Not the muscles, though. Definitely very male, those. You shouldn't hide them away quite so determinedly. Got a good body.

Your shirt's wet. Soaked. 'S makin' you cold. Skin's too cool. Hold you close to me... warm you up.

First and last time, Bodie.


'S long been a nightmare of mine, this happening. Dreamed it often.

Wake up, love. So lonely already...

...That's it. Nightmare.

It's got to be just a bad dream....

Hasn't it?

-- THE END --

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