Past. Present. Future.


Whilst listening to the doctor, Doyle held tightly onto his lover's hand. It felt so lax in his.

The man in the bed was barely conscious, hooked up to every machine available in the hospital, or so it seemed.

"So what you're saying is, there is little hope for recovery?" Doyle whispered.

"I'm sorry, Mr Doyle, but the infection seems to have taken a good hold, and doesn't appear to be responding to our treatment. He isn't showing any signs of improvement. The swelling is still present in his brain, and we are unable to say at this stage how much damage his brain is likely to have suffered. The machines are currently doing all his breathing for him. All the signs are indicating that his major organs are declining into failure."

Defeated, Doyle bowed his head to hide the tears he felt threatening to spill over.

With his thumb he stroked the back of the almost lifeless hand, looking at the man who meant so much to him. It pained him to see his lover like this.

The beautiful blue eyes were open, but mere slits. Doyle brushed the dark hair away from the pale forehead, wishing it was all a bad dream.

They were running on the roof, trying to catch up with the terrorists who had escaped through a window. Then a mistake, wrong footed, Doyle had watched him fall off the roof, his lover, his friend.

He knew he had screamed, wanted to jump after him, Jax and McCabe had barely been able to hold him back.

He had run down the stairs wanting to get to him as quickly as possible.

And now....

"Mr Doyle!" The doctor must have called him several times already, looking at him impatiently. "If you will come with me please, I have some papers for you to sign."

"Please...I don't want to leave him alone." Doyle felt so helpless.

"You go with the doctor, sunshine, I'll sit with him for a while," a soft voice said from behind them.

"Thanks. I'll be back soon," he said to the man in the bed. He kissed the pale forehead and left the room.

"So. It looks as if you've had it this time, doesn't it?" The visitor sat down in the chair next to the bed, leaning back in it, creating an air of laziness but there were undertones of danger.

The blue eyes of the man in the bed widened just a bit, and his heart rate seemed to pick up a little.

"Ah, you're not that much out of it then, are you, sunshine?"

The heart rate increased even more.

"You know, I'll take good care of him, very good care. Should you...die, he'll be over you very soon, I'll make sure of that." The visitor casually brushed some imaginary fluff of his shirt.

"Funny that." The visitor started up the one sided conversation again. "It seems I'll be getting my way after all. I have had to wait 4 years, but then he's worth waiting for. Those lovely curls, the beautiful green eyes, that sexy mouth, just made to suck cock. My cock! And not to mention that gorgeous arse, just made to be fucked. By me!"

The man in the bed seemed to get very distressed; the monitor read an increasing blood pressure and a heart rate that started to become more irregular.

With a flick of his wrist the visitor turned off the alarm. "Just makes a lot of noise, that," he said conversationally.

"You see, I can be very patient. I can wait to get even, no rush. No rush at all. It's all so very simple; you took what is mine and I'm taking it back now. Just like that. He'll come with me and I'll comfort him. Take him in my arms, let him cry, be there for him. Doyle can be very emotional, which is very endearing of course, but in this case, it's also very convenient. From now on, all he wants and all he needs is me. At first, he'll not want to have anything to do with that, but I assure you I will convince him that I know what's best for him. Me!"

The visitor stood and started prowling the room, the blue eyes following him closely.

"It is time to set the record straight, to show you and Doyle who is boss. No one, and I mean no one, does to me what the two of you did. You humiliated me, and no one does that to me and gets away with it."

Looking directly at the man in the bed he went on. "You shouldn't have played your silly little games with me, both of you. Doyle shouldn't have believed everything you told him about me, and you, you shouldn't have told lies...."

He clenched his fists in anger.

"Bet you thought you were dead clever, didn't you, hmm? Setting me up like that with that prostitute? Funny how there seemed to be a photographer handy to snap the crucial moment. Wonder how you explained that to Ray? 'Oh, I suspected that he was being unfaithful, so I had him followed. Didn't want you getting hurt, Ray.' Yeah, I bet...."

The man on the bed was shaking all over, whether with fury or fear, the visitor couldn't tell, but he didn't care.

"I know you wanted him from the moment you saw him. Too bad he chose me. He loved me and I loved him. Finally I had something good going, but had to destroy it all. Now I'm going to make sure that when...if you get out of here, there will be nothing left for you to go back to."

He walked back to the bed and leaned forward, his hands braced on either side of the man's head. When the man cringed, he said menacingly, "I'm not going to touch you, don't worry. It'll be all your own doing, everything you get is more then deserved. Isn't it?" he asked viciously. "Isn't it?" He brought his face even closer to the helpless man in the bed.

The man on the bed paled even further, then his head fell sideways and he started to convulse.

The visitor turned the alarm back on, and waited calmly. The side ward door swung open, medical staff, followed closely by Doyle, came haring into the room.

"What happened?" the doctor asked, while he started examining the man.

The visitor shrugged, "I don't know, we were...I was just talking to him and suddenly he started to shake all over."

Doyle frantically tried to get closer to his lover, the visitor however, pulled him out of the way, holding him back with strong arms.

A sedative was administered into one of the IV lines, and almost immediately the man calmed down, the convulsions stopped, but his heart rate still remained irregular.

"Blood pressure is sky high," one of the nurses said, while feeling the man's pulse.


"He's going into arrest, get the crash trolley in here, fast. We're losing him!" the doctor shouted.

The pillow was yanked from under his head and while the heart monitor showed a flat line and the machine made a screeching noise, the doctor started giving heart massage.

"Charge the defibrillator!" he ordered.

After a tense ten minutes of repeated heart massage and shocks the doctor stopped and looked at his watch. "Time of death 2.27 pm."

"Noooo, oh God no, please, it can't be...." Ray Doyle's desperate voice stirred the visitor into action.

"Is there nothing you can do, doctor?" he asked, while Doyle collapsed in his arms. The visitor felt a moment of triumph at that.

The doctor shook his head, "I'm sorry Mr. Doyle, it is over." Then he left the room.

Tears ran down Ray's face as he stumbled over to the bed and slumped on the chair, grabbing the hand of his lover, crying freely.

The visitor felt something stir in the pit of his stomach. You're mine now Ray, mine! You might not realise it yet, but you will soon. You won't grieve over him very long, I promise you that.

"Ray," he said softly to the crying man, "I'll be waiting outside for you, sunshine." He left the room and waited in the corridor until after a while the door opened and a pale Ray Doyle came out of the room.

"I can't believe he is gone, " he whispered. "What am I going to do now? I can't live without him." Despair was written all over him.

"Don't worry sunshine, I'll take care of you, come on, we're going home." Placing his hand in the small of Ray's back, he steered the bewildered man in the direction of the car park.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Bodie." He looked up at the dark haired man beside him. "You have been there whenever I needed you. I don't know how to thank you!" Ray gave him a small, tired smile, while getting into Bodie's car.

Don't worry sunshine, you'll find out soon enough!

With a triumphant smile Bodie walked around the car. I've got you where I've wanted you for a long time now, sunshine.

-- THE END --

August 2005

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