(Written for the_safehouse livejournal community "quotes" challenge (quote: "Years later we'll remember the bathtub/the position of the taps/the water..." -- Sujata Bhatt))
I am NOT getting into that monstrosity, Ray.
-- The doctor said you have to soak in a salt bath for 30 minutes every day.
Fine. Excellent. Nothing I like better than a long relaxing soak. But not in THAT!
-- Bodie, it's a tub, and it's all we've got right now. What's the problem?
It looks like something you'd find in a torture chamber. It's too damn deep, it's about six inches too short -- and look where those bloody taps are! I'll do myself a mischief!
-- Don't be such a baby. You'll just have to sit down carefully.
Sit? I'll need a shoehorn to get in there! And how am I going to get out of it again with one arm in plaster?
-- I'll come and give you a boost.
Oh great, and what happens if you lose your grip? I could ruin my future. And a work of art, I might add.
-- Now you're just being melodramatic. It's not that bad.
YOU get in it then!
-- I'm not the one with burns on his arse.
You're going to have a fat lip if you don't stop laughing, it's not bloody funny. And anyway, it's my thighs.
-- You were the one who wanted to get out of the city for a couple of days. If you were going to be so fussy about the shape of the bathtub, you should have checked when you made the booking.
I am NOT fussy.
-- Oh yeah? Bloody prima donna, you are, and that's the truth. If those burns get infected because you were too precious to climb into a perfectly serviceable bathtub, you'll have no-one to blame but yourself.
One should not have to 'climb' into a bath, Raymond, one should be able to slide into it effortlessly. Otherwise what's the point.
-- Scars, Bodie. If they get infected, you'll have scars. Great big ugly things, all over your --
Oh, shuddup and close the door, I'll yell when I want to get out. I'm not going to forget this, y'know.
-- Oh, me neither. We'll remember this bathtub for years, mate.
--THE END --